Thursday, April 7, 2011

What if we mated seasonally!

I think I am no more different from those animals. I had taken a pledge to regularly pen down my stupid, random thoughts and figure out what I really think; however, I just didn’t and so no pattern of thoughts emerged! But, I did realize that I am one of them. And the characteristic I share with them is also quite an important one. I am talking about Periodic Reproduction Habits. Now is the season when my mind starts to think and then just like a polar beer, it goes to sleep in the winters. I don’t know whether my mind saves some energy during winters but now, in summers, it has strength & vigor to go hunt fresh ideas. It needs a partner… it wants to mate… it wants to write. Here is the long cherished teenage dream – my mind wants to lose its virginity yet again.

I wonder what would happen if we humans had a clock ticking on our intimate desires. What if we couldn’t defy God’s (or maybe our DNA’s) willingness on when we mate and when we don’t? What if we were just like animals, mating in a particular season of the year? Things would be different.

The first change would be our date of birth. We would no more have specific date of birth. We would have batch. Oh look at Dhoni, he is also from 81’batch like you; yet, what did you bring for the country... leave apart country, you couldn’t even find a girl for yourself, you old fellaw!!!

The second change would be more of news for all the brothers, who wouldn’t have to crib anymore about that additional form of leaves – maternity leaves – that women get. Rejoice brothers, you will get breeding leaves from now onwards. But, please don’t complain that women get yet another category of leaves, because you ‘normally’ would need a woman to mate (as long as you think you do)! So let them enjoy their breeding leaves with you.

The third major change would be on institution of marriage. People may not want to get married in off-season. And in-season, there will be special reproduction suites, not honeymoon suites, because now it will be clearer that honeymoon isn’t about talking and knowing each other. Horoscope matching may become a dud in absence of sun signs. Also, lot more marriages will actually become happier, because for those of you, who believe that under the sheets activity is important to run the marriage, though you don’t feel like indulging in it every alternate day (not just weekends), you can take the shield of season; and eventually, your wives will have lesser reasons to nag. And, somebody has rightly pointed out that lower the expectations, better the being!

The fourth change would be in statistics. The cases of rape will go down because the rapist will likely not have an urge to do something off-the-season and in-the-season, he will likely meet someone equally aroused; of course, nature would maintain its own equilibrium. On the other hand, unemployment rates may go up because our astrologer brothers will have no business in predicting for a batch! How beautiful – I never liked those over-generalized, overhyped compatibility issues of sun sign X to sun sign Y!

Those, who have lack of drive, relax… seasonal change will bring no mood fluctuation. And for the rest, pray that if this was to happen at all, then it be only winters!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Curiosity killed the cat ;) - Amit Sinha

achin said...

Breeding leaves, season shield, and not nagging wives; I think you found the key to life.

SUNAYANA said...

I really admire your efforts of penning down all your random and weird thoughts and sharing them...!!